7. Getting back to Mark

4th March 2012

Hey everyone, this is just going to be a short blog, I’m just home from Clare where I spent the weekend for my first little adorable nephew’s christening. Lovely day but I think I could have “hogged” him a bit but he is just too cute! Anyway I’m exhausted so this wont be long but I wanted to put up some new updates. We have had a few developments with the lawyer’s report for FTI and they will be discussing our case at a meeting this week. So watch out for details on that.

Ok so Mam and I made it back to Dublin airport were my Dad met us. As you can imagine it was a tearful reunion. My sister later told me that my Dad had spent the past two weeks on the phone to every agency and politician, sending emails and letter, spending hours trying to find some way to make all this go away. He was exhausted but I think he was releaved we were home. Me on the other hand… (even though I was happy to see my Dad) I was devastated to be back in Ireland. All I could think about was getting back to Mark and I began looking for tickets on the net that night.

Two days prior to leaving Greece I called my landlord and told here that I needed to move out from the house. It was the end of the month and I told her I would be out by Sunday and that she could keep our deposit as I had not given her any notice. This meant my first day back in Ireland myself, my younger brother, my Dad, my sister and her partner, and one of my best pals, who jumped in the car and came to see me by breakfast time the morning after my return, spent the day dismantling Mark’s and my home, business and life we had worked so hard to set up. Its amazing how fast 3 boys can take apart a kids playroom when there’s a treat of tears!! I had only arrived in the door and half the room had been boxed away already!

I began packing up our bedroom with the help of my friend. It was strange I wasn’t able to talk about the past two weeks with her. I thought it would all come flooding out, particularly with her but it just wouldn’t. I explained that I would tell her what had happened over the past two weeks but just not now I hadn’t got anything left in me to talk. As usual she was great, was just there, no questions asked able to read me better than I could myself at times, knowing exactly when I needed a hug, or needed space or needed a kick up the behind!! For her support and that of my family, particularly my parents I will always be truly grateful. How they all rallied around this day is just the tip of the iceburg. Anyway so the house and business were packed up into my parents garage and I contacted Carlow county childcare committee to cancel my registration. I was devastated but it had to be done. Even more devastating was that in the weeks that followed I received several more calls about a place in our home-based creche and judging by the volume I estimated that I would have been at full capacity by the end of October. Gutted! Anyway I told myself it was only on hold and that it was all there for when Mark came home and we would start again.

The next few days were filled with “visits” doctors, social welfare, local TD’s etc. I had to start to address my obligations I had left in Ireland. I worked a few days here and there with my Dad in his shop to give me a reason to get out of bed. I hated getting up every morning ( actually I still do) I just wanted to stay under the covers and pretend I didn’t exist or the outside world didn’t exist however my Mam wouldn’t allow it! She’d open the curtains and windows and call me constantly until I’d eventually drag myself out of the bed. Funny thing was I hated going to bed at night. I dreaded the thought of getting into bed alone, without my husband and the sheer thought of it brought on physical panic attacked that I needed medication to control in the first few months. At this time Mark wasn’t much better in Crete. A week after I had returned to Ireland there was a strike in the prison. He didn’t know what was going on and he called me in a panic. I in turn called the lawyer in a panic as I did every time Mark sneezed during these first view months. I remember on another occasion there was a fight between a Greek and Albanian man and Mark got the fright of his life. He actually rang me in tears begging me to get him out of the place… These calls were like a dagger through my heart. He was so distraught and scared and I could do nothing but try reassure him everyone was working as hard as they could to try get him home. All I wanted was to take him in my arms and tell him it would be ok. But this right had been taken away from us so I had to try convey this over the phone. Those first few months were the worst. From September 2010 to January 2011. Marks 25th Birthday, Christmas and New year were horrendous. But we got through them. For me the only reason I did was that I travelled back three times, 1 week every month to see Mark, the first of these trips was the end of October.

Right I’m going to go asleep now but will carry on with this tomorrow. I promise promise the facts page will be completely finished tomorrow and up and ready to go. Sorry about the delay. Night everyone and thanks again for the support.

Naten e mire x